How to Become a Full-time Writer

You'll never guess this surprising hack blah blah blah

Image by 愚木混株 Cdd20 from Pixabay

How to become a full-time writer

Get sacked.

See how easy it is? One minute, you’re marking a pile of 6,000-word student portfolios in a university creative writing teaching career spanning 27 years, and the next, boom! you’re a full-time writer. Like the Magic Wish Fairy came along and ripped that security blanket right out of your hands. Did I say security blanket? I mean stifling fire-snuffing fibreglass blanket that’s been choking your oxygen for a decade. I mean, you’ve dreamed of being a full-time writer since you were nine. When were you going to do it, seriously? In your damn coffin?

No doubt if I snagged you on the headline because you, too, want to become a full-time writer, you’re already feeling cheated. You mean jobless, don’t you, Ros? Who wants to be jobless? Not me.

I’m with you, friend. Or am I talking to myself? It’s so hard to tell when you spend half your life conversing with imaginary people. And I can’t even work out if I mean characters or readers. But assuming you’re real, and you’re reading this, I am with you. I too, don’t relish the idea of being jobless, with all the insecurity that entails. This is why I prefer the title ‘Full-time writer.’ At least until I have sold all my belongings and am eating chalk.