45 Comments

What an incredible story, Ros. I'm so glad you're healed! Side note: as someone who love standup and Hitchcock, this essay was tailor-made for me.

Also, thank you for recommending my piece! (For the record, that wasn't a penis euphemism.)

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A good piece but not a cod piece. Very glad you liked this one, Chris.

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So glad you are better! What a nightmare! And thank you for the shout out (and dick pic comment I’m still laughing about!)

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Loved your piece, Shelly. Right up my street. There was a guy on this year’s Tour de France as well, who kept winning sprints, and even my husband mentioned the *prominence*. It has become a definite thing now.

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I've had vertigo a couple of times. Last was a couple of weeks after my brother died, suddenly and unexpectedly and without making a will. No spouse or children, and he died in the house we grew up in. Not only was I thrown off balance by the news, but my siblings were behaving badly towards me. Complex family history... As I was recovering, I went to the O2 as my granddaughter was singing with Young Voices. Up and down steep steps with no handrail and poor balance was no fun. Returning from the loo, I grabbed a steward's arm and made him walk me down to my seat. It felt like the first time I'd had any control in weeks. Heather Small was there and hearing the kids sing along to 'What have you done today to make you feel proud?' was the best medicine.

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That sounds very hard, Maria, and very much a vertigo-inducing experience. I love that you also found your medicine in the performing arts. Music is uplifting in itself, and that's the perfect line. I'm so glad you got to see your granddaughter singing; it's so hard to walk around in the world feeling off-kilter.

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I'm glad you showed the vertigo the door!

I haven't had it personally, but my partner had it once as part of a virus, which started on his birthday. We'd gone out to eat at a local restaurant and I left my phone at home, thinking we'd walk back. He started feeling ill at the table, with nausea and everything spinning. We ended up in alleyway near the restaurant, because he couldn't stand and kept throwing up.

A pizza delivery man let me use his phone to call 999. They wouldn't help and kept asking, "how much alcohol has he had?" None! He was clammy and confused, which are signs of heart trouble (I'd just had defibrillator training at work), and when I pointed out the risk of heart issues (which run in my partner's family, so I was being extra cautious), the 999 dispatcher was very patronising and told me, "you're not the expert."

Giving up on the ambulance, I tried to get a taxi, but they'd turn up and refuse to take us because they thought my partner was drunk. The only people who were helpful were solo hooded guys rocking up out of the darkness, asking with concern if we were ok - the sort of figures we're taught to run away from.

Eventually, we got home, and I rang for an emergency doctor. I sat up all night in a chair by the door and at about 5am, the emergency doctor came. Maybe I was tired and stressed so I imagined it, but the emergency doctor was Jeremy Corbyn's double!

He gave my partner some meds, which I think they use for labyrinthitis, and he slowly got better. But what an absolutely bizarre night!!!

It really shocked me how dismissive and unhelpful people were because they thought my partner was really drunk, but it was a medical issue. I imagine if you have vertigo for long periods, it's hard to get around and do just basic things, but if you feel dizzy in public, how much sympathy do you get when often people's first judgemental reaction is, "oh, they're drunk, how disgraceful!"

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Wow, Helen, what a disturbing and upsetting experience. How very distressing having a medical issue that people are dismissing because everyone things you or your partner are drunk! I’d be particularly upset about what the 999 person said, blimey. The sense of powerlessness must have been intense. I’m glad you managed to get home safely in the end, but what an eye opener!

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PS thank you for the comedy recommendations!

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It’s a pleasure, Helen - sharing the joy!

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I've never had vertigo but I've definitely found laughter the most healing thing ever. Although I lived in Edinburgh for 10 years so nothing there is funny to me. Thanks for the shout out, too!

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What a shame Edinburgh has lost its power to entertain you! But so long as you can find laughter elsewhere (and you so clearly can) no worries! And it was my pleasure, it is a great piece.

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Never had vertigo - had a few migraine hangovers though. I can now laugh at those.

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Yes, they were the reason I stopped drinking wine (except when self-punishing as above). Horrible things. Presumably you can only laugh at them now they're behind you?

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Doesn' t laughter release some chemical in the brain? I'm glad you laughed your way out of your predicament. My wife has occasional bouts of dizziness due to the crystals getting out of whack. The Epley maneuver works, but sometimes it takes several tries.

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It does. Good chemicals. I got sick (literally) of trying Epley. I must have tried a dozen times over two days. My GP thought it was something else going on in the end, neurological rather than mechanical. Fortunately emotional and comical were the solutions.

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Ooh, I’ve had vertigo before! Not fun, but sometimes funny, if you like self deprecation. I seriously think you should offer writing classes online. For someone with 27 yrs of teaching experience, you would be the kind of person I would look to. I’ve been looking at creative writing courses for years but busyness always gets in the way. One I particularly liked was The Writer’s Studio at a local university. Then I thought a full on MA at a university in the UK, online, of course. What a gift it would be for a monthly subscription there was a weekly class to help you walk through your first book and a cohort to be on the journey with. Just a thought among many new thoughts today. Loved this post - I think I’m going to go watch some standup.

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I thought about this option when I first got made redundant, and decided against it. 27 years of teaching creative writing workshops is enough. It’s time for me to focus purely on my own writing. There’s loads I want to pass on before I die (in the form of books and articles) and I’d better crack on with it!

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This is one of the FEW posts I have read from top to bottom and enjoyed.

Love your style and thank you for taking us on this journey with you.

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Thank you Michele!

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So glad you're feeling better -- comedy is indeed the best medicine for those pesky emotions that like to embody themselves to get the attention they need. Hooray for the Fringe!!

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Hooray indeed, Gia! It was such a relief to get rid of it but I know what to do next time. Even if I can’t get out of bed, I can watch back-to-back comedy on my laptop!

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My vertigo is mixed up with migraines that aren’t always headaches, heart arrhythmia, blood pressure on the low side, and motion sickness that can happen just from walking around a corner too fast. It’s worse sometimes than others. No idea why. I can imagine the feeling of laughter kind of pushing it out of your ears. I must try that next time! It’s so hard to find things that make me laugh hard enough though. I’m a tough one to please. The 1960s movie “The Out of Towners” is a sure way to crack me up though, if I leave it long enough between viewings. I highly recommend it!

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I’m not seen The Out of Towners, Jill, though I’ve heard it - will have to seek it out. But it sounds like you definitely need a few more laughter-inducing things to push your vertigo out of your ears! It sounds like a horrible combination of things you have to deal with at the moment, and that finding some comedy that works for you might be time well spent!

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Thanks, Ros. I will seek to stimulate my funny bone as soon as possible!!

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William James said it well: "We don't laugh because we're happy, we're happy because we laugh." Laughter is magic medicine.

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It truly is, Ofifoto. William James was spot on one quite a few things, it seems!

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Had vertigo about three months ago. Came on suddenly. Fell on my face and flopped around unable to get up for about 30 seconds. Lasted about a weekend and a day. No recurrence yet but will likely come for another visit.

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Oh, poor you, Ken. Well, make sure you have some fresh comedy lined up just in case you get another bout. (But here’s hoping you don’t).

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Comedy and music have probably saved me more than once in my life (at least to some extent). I'm so glad you've overcome the vertigo - congratulations on taking the stage - and thanks so much for sharing!

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Thank you Dean Michael (and what a perfect surname). I enjoyed sharing this, so of course I’m pleased you liked it!

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I did - and thank you so much.

My dad’s family were from Ireland, but apparently there are Scottish and Welsh roots on that side of the family too. A colourful bunch, from what I know.

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You are so versatile, Ros. I have always wanted to do stand-up, too, but I never had the guts. I admire you so much for making it a reality, and it was lovely to see your clip. Great post!

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Thanks, Mark. It had been something I wanted to try for a long time, so I bought the weekend course for myself as a birthday present. I have the small advantage of having performed in public quite a lot (reading poetry, reading from my novels, lecturing, giving talks) so it was perhaps less of a leap for me than it might be for some people.

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I just found you from Mark the teeth guy.

I’ll be back

So fun! 🤩

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That was so lovely of him to recommend us both, wasn’t it! Welcome, Prajna :-)

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Yes absolutely

I’m fairly new and haven’t written much public, so it really means a ton to me

Thank you, Ros

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