Imagine the immensity of the impression you must have made to elicit that response. This resonated so deep. I’m also a 1964 babe and I have taught at many levels (infant to PhD supervision) since 1989. I was described by a colleague in youth justice education (she didn’t know I could hear) as “great, but she really believes she can save them all”. I had this one young man, 15, family all gone, so much trauma. He would sneer and deride me like an old whiner uncle. He learned how to ping me - ‘you’ll never get me, Miss. I don’t wanna education.’ He turned over a desk one day, with such aggression that the screws dragged him away, shouting, “you’re a waste of my time, Miss.” I never saw him again. Until 2014. 22 years. A police officer broke up a scuffle that occurred near us at the football, driven by clashing cultures of the kids involved. He was from the specialist ethnic youth squad, a sergeant. He was so calm, firm and clear with these boys, who looked like him, and who softened in his presence. He’d travelled to the places from which these kids hail, to learn about their trauma, as part of diversity policing development. I smiled at him, thanked him, I had the that moment: do I know you? We walked on to the stadium exit. He caught up. He said, “you did get me after all, Miss”. He showed me his stripes, and the picture in his wallet of his exquisite wife, and little son and daughter. No adult arrests, let alone convictions. He said, “I love my job. I learned very young” he said, and winked, “you have to never give up on any kid, ever.” You mean, you have to believe you can reach anyone and never stop trying. The point for me is, if we get these experiences as you described, the sheer weight of significance means, there’s a lot of iceberg below that we can’t see. The research shows that in the 1970s unemployment and job losses, it wasn’t just the retraining the Mechanics’ Institutes offered in the North that gave hope and promise, but the literature and poetry classes. Ex-miners and factory workers told researchers, all was despair, but I could go to this class on Shakespeare for free. The teacher made it so clear. Or, the ones who found out they too could write poems. I can just imagine those kids, then, in the poetry workshops, finding you so fascinating. I really believe Substack is a new form of this. I’m in rural Australia, on a very wet Saturday morning. And here I am, learning from and resonating with, you. It’s such a source of deep, real hope. 🙏❤️🔥 Happy pizza.
Wow, Kate. What a beautiful story. I’m so glad you got to meet him again, to see how he turned out, and what an effect you had on him. And how, in turn, your positive effect now ripples out, through him, to a new generation of troubled young men, magnified.
The once-troubled 15-year-old girl of this post subscribed to this Substack today and emailed me back this evening with more detail of the magnitude of what those workshops meant to her and how she still carries things she learned then into her daily life. It’s extraordinary to have these ‘reconnect’ moments and as you say, they are likely only a fraction of the good that was done. Such a travesty that arts education has been stripped out of UK schools (and now universities) and condemned as useless.
But like you, I see enormous good coming out of the fully human connections that seem to be happening here on Substack.
I agree, we are building something special and hopeful here on Substack. I have no idea how it is all going to turn out, but we don't have to know that, we just have to come here and be honest and open to growth and transformation
Sorry some pathetic shitwitch is suing you. Karma works all ways, though, and they'll get theirs. Lovely to hear from students who you've made an impression on. I had one find me last year - she had just got a contract for her first novel at the age of 65 and said it was all down to me making her believe it was possible all those years ago. She didn't give me any free dough balls though so fuck her.
It is true that when you put good into the world, you get it in return. There's more goodness to come for you, Ros. Also more tears, but some of them will be happy ones. As for the tough times, there'll likely be some more great stories from them, and at least 1964 people cheering for you.
Great writing Ros. Sure you will come out ok in the end - it’s just the soggy middle bit of redundancy that feels shit. I sat in the hospice garden writing when I was going through it on their time…v therapeutic in the end to design my life in a different way- keep going and enjoy the dough balls
Ah, a teacher’s dream! What a great story. Sorry you’re going through the thick of it; I’m so familiar with that feeling of needing to make lists that break down opening up an email because it’s all just. too. much. Glad you got a ray of sunlight regardless.
I loved the random, full circle moment of this story. And, despite the unexpected blow of losing your job, you've got balls. Wishing you a bigger slice of karma and perfectly blistered pizza crust!
I'm late to this but I loved it and immediately started to Google 'portable pizza ovens' because I have some very important work to do to a deadline and I have ADHD. But what I actually wanted to say was that I was particularly inspired by someone in school and, over the years, have often thought about her and wanted to tell her but I could never find a way to get in contact. My point is that goodness and inspiration spread like water through the tiniest of gaps even though its often imperceptible and unacknowledged. I'm also still laughing at 'Penis In The Pate' which has inspired me never to eat pate again (which is no great loss).
Haha, thanks Graham, so much recognition. I hope your deadline feels *soooo* much closer now you've researched some portable pizza ovens because we all know how helpful that is. Really no more pate is a good and freeing thing; it's great to have a reason if anyone asks you, too; I see this is a powerful promotional tool bringing people to my Substack for years to come. I like that image of goodness and inspiration seeping unacknowledged through tiny gaps. It's so rare to have a moment like my 'dough balls' moment.
As usual, I love this Ros! I've been experiencing my own EXCEPTIONAL GROWTH! opportunities of late as well, approaching 50 and the end of my employment contract, negotiating terms of departure with people who are paid and trained (and just generally better at it than I am) to get me out the door with the least impact to their bottom line. Looming and exceptional expenses are just ahead, and I'm staring into this with uncharacteristic uncertainty about what to do coupled with an email inbox full of rejection emails to jobs I've applied to (but which I'd really rather not do if I'm being honest). Friends, guides and others keep telling me the best is yet to come; there is such an opportunity here, I just can't see it yet. I confess I am one who often expects progress to be linear, or at the very least, I hope the good parts will come quickly, but in reality, it's often months or years later that we realize the true value of the work we have done. I'm so delighted that you got to experience it for yourself and in such a beautiful way. Cheers to your rockin pizza party!
Haha, EXCEPTIONAL GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES are the flavour of the year. So much contraction for our employers has to mean expansion for us. It’s listening to that inner guidance that is crucial; something we cannot hear when anxiety starts clamouring. So my job as I see it — and maybe yours too — is to breathe deeply and slowly, release the anxiety, find a deeper sense of faith or trust that all will be well, and listen to the quiet voice within that offers the next step. Just ‘the next step today’, nothing huge. I wish you well with it and hope to get updates!
Ros, you never fail to entertain and inspire. From my experience, there is a blessing in everything that happens whether it is perceive as good or bad. But I have to be open to the blessing to recognize it. That is only possible if I accept whatever happens and take the next appropriate action. Your encounter with a former workshop attendee is an example.
I love your humorous take on a difficult situation, for example, HIgh Level Personal Growth Training. It reminds me of the euphemisms generated by government bureaucracies.
Thank you, K.C. I say why not use these euphemisms for our benefit for a change? Speaking as someone whose redundancy was part of Goldsmiths’ “Transformation Programme”. We are in accord; ‘bad’ and ‘good’ are just labels and only take on those meanings if we choose them.
“Transformation Programme”, words without meaning. That way, they can claim success no matter the outcome. As long as it’s different, it has been transformed.
God that rejection sensitivity thing hit hard, it’s why I’ve not even attempted to organise anything for my recent 50th I simply cannot imagine anyone wanting to do anything with me voluntarily so it’s much better not to ask and have to make them feel they have to endure or come up with an awkward excuse. Another one for my therapist… mainly wanted to write to send love to you & other half on loss of his dad and to express general 😵💫😵💫 on all the crap flying around you at the moment! Personal growth indeed 😬
Imagine the immensity of the impression you must have made to elicit that response. This resonated so deep. I’m also a 1964 babe and I have taught at many levels (infant to PhD supervision) since 1989. I was described by a colleague in youth justice education (she didn’t know I could hear) as “great, but she really believes she can save them all”. I had this one young man, 15, family all gone, so much trauma. He would sneer and deride me like an old whiner uncle. He learned how to ping me - ‘you’ll never get me, Miss. I don’t wanna education.’ He turned over a desk one day, with such aggression that the screws dragged him away, shouting, “you’re a waste of my time, Miss.” I never saw him again. Until 2014. 22 years. A police officer broke up a scuffle that occurred near us at the football, driven by clashing cultures of the kids involved. He was from the specialist ethnic youth squad, a sergeant. He was so calm, firm and clear with these boys, who looked like him, and who softened in his presence. He’d travelled to the places from which these kids hail, to learn about their trauma, as part of diversity policing development. I smiled at him, thanked him, I had the that moment: do I know you? We walked on to the stadium exit. He caught up. He said, “you did get me after all, Miss”. He showed me his stripes, and the picture in his wallet of his exquisite wife, and little son and daughter. No adult arrests, let alone convictions. He said, “I love my job. I learned very young” he said, and winked, “you have to never give up on any kid, ever.” You mean, you have to believe you can reach anyone and never stop trying. The point for me is, if we get these experiences as you described, the sheer weight of significance means, there’s a lot of iceberg below that we can’t see. The research shows that in the 1970s unemployment and job losses, it wasn’t just the retraining the Mechanics’ Institutes offered in the North that gave hope and promise, but the literature and poetry classes. Ex-miners and factory workers told researchers, all was despair, but I could go to this class on Shakespeare for free. The teacher made it so clear. Or, the ones who found out they too could write poems. I can just imagine those kids, then, in the poetry workshops, finding you so fascinating. I really believe Substack is a new form of this. I’m in rural Australia, on a very wet Saturday morning. And here I am, learning from and resonating with, you. It’s such a source of deep, real hope. 🙏❤️🔥 Happy pizza.
Wow, Kate. What a beautiful story. I’m so glad you got to meet him again, to see how he turned out, and what an effect you had on him. And how, in turn, your positive effect now ripples out, through him, to a new generation of troubled young men, magnified.
The once-troubled 15-year-old girl of this post subscribed to this Substack today and emailed me back this evening with more detail of the magnitude of what those workshops meant to her and how she still carries things she learned then into her daily life. It’s extraordinary to have these ‘reconnect’ moments and as you say, they are likely only a fraction of the good that was done. Such a travesty that arts education has been stripped out of UK schools (and now universities) and condemned as useless.
But like you, I see enormous good coming out of the fully human connections that seem to be happening here on Substack.
Your sub is is one of them!
I agree, we are building something special and hopeful here on Substack. I have no idea how it is all going to turn out, but we don't have to know that, we just have to come here and be honest and open to growth and transformation
I punched the air after this. Lovely turn of events. Now I really want some pizza.
Ah, the power of suggestion! Thanks, Amar. I like the thought of you punching the air at the end.
Sorry some pathetic shitwitch is suing you. Karma works all ways, though, and they'll get theirs. Lovely to hear from students who you've made an impression on. I had one find me last year - she had just got a contract for her first novel at the age of 65 and said it was all down to me making her believe it was possible all those years ago. She didn't give me any free dough balls though so fuck her.
Haha, listen the dough balls are a random contextual bonus, that gratitude puts more energy into your system than pizza ever will.
It is true that when you put good into the world, you get it in return. There's more goodness to come for you, Ros. Also more tears, but some of them will be happy ones. As for the tough times, there'll likely be some more great stories from them, and at least 1964 people cheering for you.
Thanks Ofifoto. And thanks for being one of the 1964!
Chuckled all the way through this, loving your warmth and wit! Such a good story!
Thanks, Karen :-)
Such a very precious reminder to keep planting seeds even when the world seems to cave in. Thank you for sharing, Ros💛
Great writing Ros. Sure you will come out ok in the end - it’s just the soggy middle bit of redundancy that feels shit. I sat in the hospice garden writing when I was going through it on their time…v therapeutic in the end to design my life in a different way- keep going and enjoy the dough balls
Ah, a teacher’s dream! What a great story. Sorry you’re going through the thick of it; I’m so familiar with that feeling of needing to make lists that break down opening up an email because it’s all just. too. much. Glad you got a ray of sunlight regardless.
Thank you, Leah.
Happy Birthday!!
Thanks Deirdre!
“I think you deserve some free dough balls...”
I loved the random, full circle moment of this story. And, despite the unexpected blow of losing your job, you've got balls. Wishing you a bigger slice of karma and perfectly blistered pizza crust!
Thank you, Jules! It was such a lovely surprise at a difficult time.
I both laughed and got teary-eyed here!
Perfect responses.
I'm late to this but I loved it and immediately started to Google 'portable pizza ovens' because I have some very important work to do to a deadline and I have ADHD. But what I actually wanted to say was that I was particularly inspired by someone in school and, over the years, have often thought about her and wanted to tell her but I could never find a way to get in contact. My point is that goodness and inspiration spread like water through the tiniest of gaps even though its often imperceptible and unacknowledged. I'm also still laughing at 'Penis In The Pate' which has inspired me never to eat pate again (which is no great loss).
Haha, thanks Graham, so much recognition. I hope your deadline feels *soooo* much closer now you've researched some portable pizza ovens because we all know how helpful that is. Really no more pate is a good and freeing thing; it's great to have a reason if anyone asks you, too; I see this is a powerful promotional tool bringing people to my Substack for years to come. I like that image of goodness and inspiration seeping unacknowledged through tiny gaps. It's so rare to have a moment like my 'dough balls' moment.
As usual, I love this Ros! I've been experiencing my own EXCEPTIONAL GROWTH! opportunities of late as well, approaching 50 and the end of my employment contract, negotiating terms of departure with people who are paid and trained (and just generally better at it than I am) to get me out the door with the least impact to their bottom line. Looming and exceptional expenses are just ahead, and I'm staring into this with uncharacteristic uncertainty about what to do coupled with an email inbox full of rejection emails to jobs I've applied to (but which I'd really rather not do if I'm being honest). Friends, guides and others keep telling me the best is yet to come; there is such an opportunity here, I just can't see it yet. I confess I am one who often expects progress to be linear, or at the very least, I hope the good parts will come quickly, but in reality, it's often months or years later that we realize the true value of the work we have done. I'm so delighted that you got to experience it for yourself and in such a beautiful way. Cheers to your rockin pizza party!
Haha, EXCEPTIONAL GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES are the flavour of the year. So much contraction for our employers has to mean expansion for us. It’s listening to that inner guidance that is crucial; something we cannot hear when anxiety starts clamouring. So my job as I see it — and maybe yours too — is to breathe deeply and slowly, release the anxiety, find a deeper sense of faith or trust that all will be well, and listen to the quiet voice within that offers the next step. Just ‘the next step today’, nothing huge. I wish you well with it and hope to get updates!
Ros, you never fail to entertain and inspire. From my experience, there is a blessing in everything that happens whether it is perceive as good or bad. But I have to be open to the blessing to recognize it. That is only possible if I accept whatever happens and take the next appropriate action. Your encounter with a former workshop attendee is an example.
I love your humorous take on a difficult situation, for example, HIgh Level Personal Growth Training. It reminds me of the euphemisms generated by government bureaucracies.
Thank you, K.C. I say why not use these euphemisms for our benefit for a change? Speaking as someone whose redundancy was part of Goldsmiths’ “Transformation Programme”. We are in accord; ‘bad’ and ‘good’ are just labels and only take on those meanings if we choose them.
“Transformation Programme”, words without meaning. That way, they can claim success no matter the outcome. As long as it’s different, it has been transformed.
Great post! As a former teacher, I can attest to the feeling of making such a positive impact on students. Hang in there!
God that rejection sensitivity thing hit hard, it’s why I’ve not even attempted to organise anything for my recent 50th I simply cannot imagine anyone wanting to do anything with me voluntarily so it’s much better not to ask and have to make them feel they have to endure or come up with an awkward excuse. Another one for my therapist… mainly wanted to write to send love to you & other half on loss of his dad and to express general 😵💫😵💫 on all the crap flying around you at the moment! Personal growth indeed 😬