Thank you, Jamie. A poetic and beautiful juxtaposition of things. The simple wonder of the iris. The renewed sibling connection in the face of adversity, reminding us that ‘bad’ and ‘good’ are not clear-cut, and always in conversation with each other.
This post is the very definition of Writing A Better World. Very grateful indeed to have spent some minutes with it. What else? Perspective and resilience. Not just in myself, but in those around me. Go humans!
Thank you, Shoni. I am finding such a connection with my passion and purpose in these posts. Perspective, resilience - yes. So vital, and there for us, no matter what we have gone through. ‘Go humans!’ I love most of all. This would have been a perfect end to the post.
It should roll off the tongue shouldn’t it? Gosh so simple yet why does half my mind want to fight back and say it’s not that easy. Ha! 1. I’m going to see the Boss on Sunday with my younger brother who has a heavy chip on his shoulder about me being the favourite son. 2. I’m finally earning more now than I did when I was 38 (24 years ago). 3. I have found a woman who I adore and who loves me in return despite my spiky anger when I get tired
A huge part of coming into a more peaceful place is overcoming the resistance to doing so! And look at your three things. Magnificent! The third especially a profound good to be cherished.
Noel, wow, thank you for question number 1 especially. That has got me thinking.
1) I don't know. That's really odd. I mean why list beekeeper or barmaid or waitress when none of those lasted as long or took the hours of commitment of singer-songwriter. Maybe because I feel slightly ashamed that I 'failed', having come really close to what I would have counted as success (a record deal). But really I gave it up, just like I gave up the other ones. I decided it wasn't the life for me, because the music biz just wanted to package and exploit me, and I didn't have the emotional strength right then to withstand it. Next time I write such a list, I shall endeavour to include it. Hell, I might go and edit it into this one. One of the many joys of Substack is editorial control.
2) I trained in machine code, Assembly language and BASIC at school (our brilliant maths teacher Roger Grey set up the Computer Studies O level and we sent punched cards to a mainframe in Chelmsford until he built a PC in the second year, which read punched tape). Then Amex trained me in COBOL and JCL, which I gather are now in high demand. I could pick them back up in a heartbeat, so maybe that's what I'll do if Goldsmiths sack me! As a freelancer I learnt a 4GL called 'FOCUS' (defunct I should imagine) at BT, and finally C, when I had to step in to save my husband's business while I was pregnant. More recently I dabbled in html and CSS on ageing websites, but it's barely necessary anymore.
3) I haven't, and thank you - that does sound like exactly my kind of thing. I'll check it out.
Loved this piece! Your cheeky sense humour and ability to inquire philosophically and emotionally made it a great read. Do keep writing more and more!! More power to you!
Yashraj, thank you! I do love to write pulling out all the stops, exploring serious subjects with humour. I appreciate your appreciation! And there's really no stopping me writing. It's been over 50 years now and the only person who managed to get me to stop for a while was my first husband (as good enough reason to leave him as any).
Thanks Ros. What a banger, much resonance. Powerful honesty. I winced at the reference to your husband smashing his vinyl - if he’s anything like me that is evidence of an absolute lowest ebb!. Your fortitude and love deserved the positive outcome
Thank you, Carlo. Yes, the vinyl smashing was a terrible thing. He was a punk in his teenage years and these were prized albums, Siouxie etc. It was awful to behold.
Thank you for this. I wish more people understood the impact of old emotional wounds. Three things I’m grateful for in this moment:
1. Listening to the birds and feeling the crisp, mountain air on my skin while drinking my morning tea.
2. The sounds my dogs make when they are dreaming.
3. Giving myself space and permission to dedicate to “being a writer,” something I’ve always yearned for but never focused on because I was disillusioned into believing it to be selfish and unproductive (I.e. not income generating).
Oh the sound of your dogs dreaming! Dogs bring so much joy.
Thanks for reading, commenting and subscribing, Heather! I hope you find much happiness as you become the writer you dreamed of being.
Sometimes we let ourselves get knocked off our path because we have something to learn. I’m glad you’re back on yours, probably better equipped now you’ve had an experience or two.
Three things: The sun is out and the sky is blue. I have reached the last sentence of an essay I’m writing, and it’s good. I will soon walk a dog whose happiness makes me happy. I guess that was four things. It’s hard to write about the open secret of living well without being sucky. You have done it.
Gorgeous post. Your voice shifts between humor and vulnerability with such natural ease. I was riveted. This line, "every time I tapped through my anger at him (which was profound), all I ever found at the bottom of it was love." moved me to tears. I spent so many years of my own marriage thinking, if only he would change, I could be happy again. Finally got it that I could change and that made all the difference. It's easy to be stalled in resentment and, thankfully, just as easy to let it go. I'm glad you found EFT; I've heard it can do wonders.
Thank you, Julie. It has taken a lot of journalling and other kinds of writing (as well as tapping) for me to being my whole self to the table, but I learned a while ago to let the words go where they will do the flow is just that.
The vulnerability was the thing that took longest to allow, but it feels important to show full humanity, if possible. There are still areas I keep to myself (I am noticing from my Secret Diary Club selections) but I am working on being braver.
It sounds like we have been on similar journeys, marriage-wise. Long term relationships are good drivers of personal growth ;-).
Super read Ros, I love “recruited to the future of humanity”. More of my glimmers today included a lovely pastry morning tea, finding my little dog had wiggled out of his coat and was wearing it like a skirt and having time for three drawings in a quiet afternoon. Xo
1. Your post: the humour, vulnerability and common sense - a reminder.
2. The iris in bloom in the little front garden.
3. The weird (but understandable) way my mum's current dementia-storm in hospital has brought my sister and me closer again after a recent fall-out.
Thank you, Jamie. A poetic and beautiful juxtaposition of things. The simple wonder of the iris. The renewed sibling connection in the face of adversity, reminding us that ‘bad’ and ‘good’ are not clear-cut, and always in conversation with each other.
Sight, the fact that the world is in three dimensions, and the Joy that brought me to this post. $;-)
Thanks, Chip! I am especially appreciating my sense of sight at the moment too :-)
Three things I appreciate about my life right now:
1. I have a handful of close friends.
2. I've recently found a new therapist that I like.
3. I'm in the midst of rediscovering my creative outlets.
Thank you, Kurtis. These are all excellent things.
This post is the very definition of Writing A Better World. Very grateful indeed to have spent some minutes with it. What else? Perspective and resilience. Not just in myself, but in those around me. Go humans!
Thank you, Shoni. I am finding such a connection with my passion and purpose in these posts. Perspective, resilience - yes. So vital, and there for us, no matter what we have gone through. ‘Go humans!’ I love most of all. This would have been a perfect end to the post.
It should roll off the tongue shouldn’t it? Gosh so simple yet why does half my mind want to fight back and say it’s not that easy. Ha! 1. I’m going to see the Boss on Sunday with my younger brother who has a heavy chip on his shoulder about me being the favourite son. 2. I’m finally earning more now than I did when I was 38 (24 years ago). 3. I have found a woman who I adore and who loves me in return despite my spiky anger when I get tired
A huge part of coming into a more peaceful place is overcoming the resistance to doing so! And look at your three things. Magnificent! The third especially a profound good to be cherished.
It’s strange isn’t it how we sabotage ourselves? Very powerful story about how you dealt with Paul”s anger.
Also, 1. I went to see waterfalls with a friend yesterday, 2. My friend just brought me a sandwich 3. With chips!
Beautiful, beautiful and the the funny and relatable ‘with chips!’ Thank you, Tresha.
1 :- Your writings ; the inspiration, clarity, and giggles that they bring.
2 :- the cool sensation of damp mist on my face.
3 :- being human.
1. Thank you. Inspiration/clarity/giggles is a lovely combo.
2. Nature’s refreshment, such a gift
3. The greatest gift of all, making all the others possible.
Oh gosh. What an amazing read.
1. Grateful to have read it
2. Grateful that it resonated
3. Appreciating generational damage and knowing not to shout
Thank you, Hannah. I appreciate your appreciation. May all our wounds be mended.
1. Having a moment to clean out my inbox and finidng this post and reading it now
2. A neighborhood I feel safe to go running in, even at midnight, which I what I'm going to do after finishing this comment
3. A new type of tea I found in Aldi. It's biscuit flavored. That's amazing, right? It's just black tea but it tastes like a biscuit!
1. Sounds wonderful! My inbox hasn’t yet recovered from my holiday
2. Also very special. Not something I can say of mine.
3. Okay, now we’re talking! What’s the name of it. I want to try it!
Three questions:
1) When you list all your old occupations, why leave out singer-songwriter?
2) Which language did you program in back in the day?
3) Have you read “The Premonitions Bureau”? https://www.theguardian.com/books/2022/may/04/the-premonitions-bureau-by-sam-knight-review-astonishing-adventures-in-precognition — it seems very much your kind of thing
Noel, wow, thank you for question number 1 especially. That has got me thinking.
1) I don't know. That's really odd. I mean why list beekeeper or barmaid or waitress when none of those lasted as long or took the hours of commitment of singer-songwriter. Maybe because I feel slightly ashamed that I 'failed', having come really close to what I would have counted as success (a record deal). But really I gave it up, just like I gave up the other ones. I decided it wasn't the life for me, because the music biz just wanted to package and exploit me, and I didn't have the emotional strength right then to withstand it. Next time I write such a list, I shall endeavour to include it. Hell, I might go and edit it into this one. One of the many joys of Substack is editorial control.
2) I trained in machine code, Assembly language and BASIC at school (our brilliant maths teacher Roger Grey set up the Computer Studies O level and we sent punched cards to a mainframe in Chelmsford until he built a PC in the second year, which read punched tape). Then Amex trained me in COBOL and JCL, which I gather are now in high demand. I could pick them back up in a heartbeat, so maybe that's what I'll do if Goldsmiths sack me! As a freelancer I learnt a 4GL called 'FOCUS' (defunct I should imagine) at BT, and finally C, when I had to step in to save my husband's business while I was pregnant. More recently I dabbled in html and CSS on ageing websites, but it's barely necessary anymore.
3) I haven't, and thank you - that does sound like exactly my kind of thing. I'll check it out.
Loved this piece! Your cheeky sense humour and ability to inquire philosophically and emotionally made it a great read. Do keep writing more and more!! More power to you!
Yashraj, thank you! I do love to write pulling out all the stops, exploring serious subjects with humour. I appreciate your appreciation! And there's really no stopping me writing. It's been over 50 years now and the only person who managed to get me to stop for a while was my first husband (as good enough reason to leave him as any).
Thanks Ros. What a banger, much resonance. Powerful honesty. I winced at the reference to your husband smashing his vinyl - if he’s anything like me that is evidence of an absolute lowest ebb!. Your fortitude and love deserved the positive outcome
Thank you, Carlo. Yes, the vinyl smashing was a terrible thing. He was a punk in his teenage years and these were prized albums, Siouxie etc. It was awful to behold.
Thank you for this. I wish more people understood the impact of old emotional wounds. Three things I’m grateful for in this moment:
1. Listening to the birds and feeling the crisp, mountain air on my skin while drinking my morning tea.
2. The sounds my dogs make when they are dreaming.
3. Giving myself space and permission to dedicate to “being a writer,” something I’ve always yearned for but never focused on because I was disillusioned into believing it to be selfish and unproductive (I.e. not income generating).
Oh the sound of your dogs dreaming! Dogs bring so much joy.
Thanks for reading, commenting and subscribing, Heather! I hope you find much happiness as you become the writer you dreamed of being.
Sometimes we let ourselves get knocked off our path because we have something to learn. I’m glad you’re back on yours, probably better equipped now you’ve had an experience or two.
Three things: The sun is out and the sky is blue. I have reached the last sentence of an essay I’m writing, and it’s good. I will soon walk a dog whose happiness makes me happy. I guess that was four things. It’s hard to write about the open secret of living well without being sucky. You have done it.
Thank you, Rona. Sometimes our obsessions pay off! Yes, ‘the open secret of living well’, I like that.
Dogs are such joyful creatures. Mine is a little happiness-engine too.
Gorgeous post. Your voice shifts between humor and vulnerability with such natural ease. I was riveted. This line, "every time I tapped through my anger at him (which was profound), all I ever found at the bottom of it was love." moved me to tears. I spent so many years of my own marriage thinking, if only he would change, I could be happy again. Finally got it that I could change and that made all the difference. It's easy to be stalled in resentment and, thankfully, just as easy to let it go. I'm glad you found EFT; I've heard it can do wonders.
Thank you, Julie. It has taken a lot of journalling and other kinds of writing (as well as tapping) for me to being my whole self to the table, but I learned a while ago to let the words go where they will do the flow is just that.
The vulnerability was the thing that took longest to allow, but it feels important to show full humanity, if possible. There are still areas I keep to myself (I am noticing from my Secret Diary Club selections) but I am working on being braver.
It sounds like we have been on similar journeys, marriage-wise. Long term relationships are good drivers of personal growth ;-).
They are indeed! Celebrating 35 years this year. It’s amazing, really.
Three things:
1. Substack writers like you
2. Green tea and journaling lit by a small candle
3. A cool, rainy day for my big run tomorrow
1. Thank you 2. Sounds glorious 3. I hope it went well!
Super read Ros, I love “recruited to the future of humanity”. More of my glimmers today included a lovely pastry morning tea, finding my little dog had wiggled out of his coat and was wearing it like a skirt and having time for three drawings in a quiet afternoon. Xo
Thanks, Gillian. I laughed so much to picture the second one! All these things are so precious. XoX