I was involved with the production of operas composed by my late wife Elodie Lauten (she's on Wikipedia). The 1st was performed in Boston, Death of Don Juan. Based partly on Don Giovanni. I designed the set and did some stage direction. We had a Broadway director recommended to us. I ended up confronting him at the point where he wanted to have the 3 sopranos dressed and made up like truck stop lizards (female sex workers who look for clients at truck stops). Not sure how Mozart would have felt but to me these would not have been suitable victims for Don Juan. He backed off, mortally wounded, with one sentence. I simply told him we didn't trust him (innfront of everyone). Anyway, your story reminded me how painful these kinds of negotiations can be. I loved the whole lunch description. Our guy was addicted to diet cokes, a dozen or so a day.
That’s an interesting story. I imagine this happens a lot. Sometimes you go to something and the truck stop lizard director has had his way - I saw a dreadful production of Macbeth last year where similar bad things had occurred. These are people reaching for originality but by force, not inspiration. Your get out was brutal but necessary; I admire it.
Thank you for the mention, Ros! And exciting news about your novel :)
It's good to know about the moral rights clause. The first short story I ever wrote was bought by a film company and turned into a short film - luckily it wasn't all that bad. But probably cringeworthy enough that I won't go searching for it on youtube anytime soon.
Thanks! Yes, we should all know about it, shouldn’t we? Spread the word!
Re novel, yes, I am nervously excited about it. I’ve never believed in a thing more, but waiting for responses — and getting them — is something else. Time to hold the nerves and breathe deep.
Oh wow, what a story! I’m so glad you got out of that horrible mangling of what sounds like an amazing story. I’m sorry you had to go through such an ordeal though.
And thank you for spreading the word about the ‘moral rights.’
Thanks, Serena. For years I was a bit afraid to tell the story publicly in case it was poking the bear, but I think enough time has passed. And it’s really something authors should know about, so they can avoid going through anything similar.
The chutzpah of that turd to try to turn your masterpiece into profane nonsense. Glad you got out of it w/ a little chump change and no serious damage. Keep plugging, Ros. New successes await.
My other takeaway from this piece is to never trust a cheapskate who doesn’t consider you worth a £15 sandwich.
Having said that, I once took a date to see David Sedaris and bought her a £1.50 cheese and celery number from M&S for dinner. It’s all about the context.
I mean £15 *is* too much for a 2016 sandwich but you’re paying for your surroundings and if you want to play the big shot producer you probably want to go, if not the whole hog, a couple of decent rashers in some classy bread just to keep up appearances.
Nothing wrong with your affordable M&S date; sounds perfect, if the company’s right.
What the actual hell were they trying to do to your book? Eurghhh. I didn't know that about moral rights - I'd seen it in copyright declarations, but not known what it really meant. And now I do, so thank you!
And yes, I was nearly sued. I will be vague. I used to run an online clothing shop and I tried different suppliers to see how it went working with them, and to see how my customers took to their products. The first batch of items from The Seller was okay, so I ordered some more items, which had problems. Such as... The sleeves were on the wrong sizes. A big sleeve on a small dress with a tiny sleeve, a tiny sleeve on a big dress with the right-sized sleeve. And dresses with zips that got stuck. And a box of clothing that actually didn't have issues but never turned up.
I told them there was am issue and I was told that they "run their business in a Christlike way." What?
I posted about it in my personal, private Facebook, and cracked a joke with a friend who's a Quaker: "what's Christlike about their business? I missed the bit in the Bible about Jesus making tables with wonky legs." Unfortunately they were tagged in this post by accident and they went mental at me - via a lawyer. Theu refused to speak to me. I was the victim in this. I'd paid money for clothes that I couldn't sell, and they wouldn't take responsibility for, and now because I had "mocked their faith" (my Methodist pastor grandad would've loved the table joke, so there), they wouldn't sort things out. I couldn't afford a lawyer. I was trapped.
Then I made the mistake... Of creating an email address for my lawyer. She decided the lawyer was fake (those emails were written in perfect legalese! I am insulted!) and posted very publicly online that I was a terrible person to deal with. That I'd lied (I hadn't) and that I was offensive to Christians (comparing yourself to Christ when you sell tat and won't take responsibility for it is... Offensive to Christians). The comments were full of people, who knew nothing about the circumstances, saying horrendous things about me, and far too many of them trotted out that tedious, lazy response, "karma's a b*tch."
So seeing as I was being publicly slated, I wrote my own public post. I went into everything that had happened. And there were a lot of supportive comments. And among them were people saying, "I ordered stock from her too, and there were problems with it, and she wouldn't resolve them either, and got really arsey with me."
And I let that post stay online for as long as I ran my shop. Her lawyer never contacted me to take it down. Hmmm.... I wonder how many fake lawyers were involved in that? Or, if her lawyer was real, did they recommend that she took no action, because of the number of other people she'd ripped off?
I have no idea if this helps at all. But perhaps knowing that you might not be the only person who's been crapped on by someone can be a comfort. It's not about you, but about them and their inability to deal with other people's views without reaching for a lawyer like a child tabtrumming in a supermarket for a Freddo Frog.
What were they doing? I know, amazing isn’t it. I had no idea people would do that kind of thing.
Your own legal story is rich indeed. I *love* your Facebook joke, both appropriate and deserved. People are such twits, piling in on an issue they don’t know so little about. Social media is bad for the brain (and our opinion of humanity). I’m glad you got justice (without additional cost) in the end.
I am BAD for born again and delivered and I don't find your joke offensive. I believe Jesus did excellent work Indeed. I am also tired of christians using Christ's name in vain ( if indeed they are christians). Being able to recognize your faults is a basic virtue of Christ's disciples.
Spot on, Ka B. If you’re going to call yourself a Christian, surely following Christ’s teachings is a fundamental? But some people lack self-awareness. My ex sister in law was a really committed Christian on the face of it and did the church flowers but I found her behaviour towards me as unchristian as could be. But then we all do this at times; fail to practice what we preach. Human flaws are legion!
I was worried at the time (not now) because I care deeply about the way my work is represented. Getting paid really isn’t everything. No-one should be deceived into Faustian pact; it should be freely entered.
Well it does seem as if there will always be a fair few frogs to be kissed…what more can I tell you?! Your piece certainly describes the ‘milieu’ pretty well.
Small time professional author here. You are jolly lucky the contract didn't have a clause where you waived your moral rights. Not uncommon and in UK quite legal. I don't have an agent, too small time, but all my contracts get pre vetted by the Society of Authors. They would also be some help with whoever is currently sueing you. Which must be horrible, deep sympathies there.
The SoA are great for contract vetting; I always pass my contracts past them. But they don’t provide defamation lawyers. What an absolute bargain their membership fee would be if they did!
You have my total sympathy for what they put you through, but most film contracts insist you waive your moral rights. Which reinforces my view that if you think dealing with publishers is difficult and dispiriting, wait till you have to negotiate with people in the film business!
Well, I look forward to doing so; and I shall have to see how I feel about selling my moral rights. If I trust them, maybe not a problem. If I don’t trust them, I will find out what price I set on my soul. I’d like to think I wouldn’t sell it, but big money can be a dreadful temptation.
For me being required to waive moral rights is a reason to distrust. Unless supplying material that is intended to be manipulated and adapted by the publisher. Incidentally moral rights (the right of integrity and the right to be credited) don't apply to magazine ("serial") publications.
I've only been on the performing side of these sorts of shenanigans, but I can attest it's also painful for the poor artists who were just happy to have a job to discover that they're working with Dick Swinger and Will Ingstooge. We identify with the source material (it's the theatre -- the word, the AUTHOR'S INTENT, above all else!) and begrudgingly execute the terrible direction and dialogue to the best of our abilities, apologizing to friends who insist on attending the show anyway. Those gems tucked away on YouTube become inside jokes shared with those who survived said shenanigans.
I hope you bought yourself a really lovely lunch with those options dolla-dolla-dollars. :)
Oh yep, Gia, I had a lunch or two out of that cash! I feel for any creative person who has to work on projects like this. It was why I felt bad about pulling the plug too; it’s still a job, and jobs in the creative industries are precious. I have a few actor friends, and went to one of those shows early last year (which she apologised for, but the main pleasure was seeing her being the only brilliant thing in a pile of doo-doo, and then drinking with her and a couple of other really lovely actors in the bar until closing time).
The real show begins at the bar! And yes, we're grateful for work, even the stinky poop pile that we're sometimes serving up. But ultimately, no one expect Dick (and whoever financed it all) was disappointed that the Oxfordian Operatic Marlowe never saw the light of day. Cheers!
"The Marlowe Papers" turned my heart around at a time when it was in a very sad place. So delightful and deliciously clever. I am shocked to learn that your dazzling novel was treated this way. That you were treated this way. It is such a wonderful story that I don't know why on earth you haven't been offered a great of money for the rights to a sumptuous Netflix series yet. It's coming. TMPs is really in tune with the current trend for historical dramas told with flair and intelligence. And also, I think, the growing interest in the Authorship Question. And, also because your Kit is just so lovable.
Kim, what a lovely thing to hear. This is what I write for, honestly. The idea that my words could turn someone’s heart around when they are in a sad place is incredible.
Ah, I’m sure the sumptuous Netflix series exists somewhere down the line; I just have to break through with a best-seller and there will be people scrambling for the back catalogue! My follow-up to the The Marlowe Papers (in that it’s historical, and first person) is just about to go on submission, so send all the good vibes!
Oh yes, he is so lovable. I still spend a lot of time with him, in my head!
I am a reformed beat-myself-upper, who falls back into old habits on occasion, but neither do I necessarily forgive myself for my failings. I do generally learn from them, though.
I absolutely love historical accuracy in everything and am even more curious to read "The Marlowe Papers" now. I have just picked up "30-second Shakespeare" and "Devotion" from the library and off now to get the jobs done, so I can get to reading.
Well, reformation from being a beat-yourself-upper can be a long road (speaking as one who knows) but gradually I found I catch myself in the act faster and faster, and drop it. I only call myself ‘idiot’ two or three times a month now and it used to be several times a day!
Oh terrific; I hope you enjoy them. “Devotion” is, I’ve been told, a bit of a Marmite book; people very much love it or hate it, and I think it’s about whether or not it marries with whether they like a flawed protagonist or not. Me, I *am* a flawed protagonist, so I have a terrible soft spot for logan; my editor did too. But my agent hated him, and I once made the mistake of searching for myself on Twitter just after the book’s release and found two people talking about the book and one saying it made them so angry they threw it across the room! I’ll be interested to know which camp you fall into!
Yes I once got a libel summons from a men's hair restoration clinic because, in a London Evening Standard article making fun of their archaic business model, I said that their guaranteed "cure" didn't work. The letter frightened the life out of me but the Standard, when I reported it to them, was not phased at all. I went in to meet the Standard's highly paid and terrifyingly predatory female lawyer. I explained that the clinic's restoration method didn't work because at the time (I'd done my research) no method was scientifically proven to work. She smiled, rubbed her hands together and said, chillingly: "We'll put them out of business." Which (only briefly) actually made me feel sorry for them.
I can't believe that guy! Shocking how he would deliberately tear apart and distort your work into something vile and despicable. I'm very glad you averted disaster. Is there any clause in a contract for film rights that says if they will be true to the work? I don't like the way directors take a great book and try to change it and feel they should declare their intention of staying true to the work or not. The original is almost always better. I'm interested in reading the Marlowe Papers now.
I know! Apparently with film options they often ask you to waive your moral rights (meaning they can do anything with it they like). So I guess the answer is to hold onto your principles and not sell a film option on that basis. I can imagine it would be tempting if they wave big money at you and you're broke, though (which so many writers are).
There are so many shocking adaptations but I think the worst I've seen was "Under the Skin". Michel Faber's book is an absolute masterpiece. The film was unrecognisable.
The best films are where those making the film have respect for the author and work *with* them to bring a joint vision to the screen.
I really appreciate what appears to be your very irreverent nature. Keep ‘em coming.
Irreverence is also what gets me into trouble sometimes but I regard it as a feature, not a bug. Thanks, Mike.
I was involved with the production of operas composed by my late wife Elodie Lauten (she's on Wikipedia). The 1st was performed in Boston, Death of Don Juan. Based partly on Don Giovanni. I designed the set and did some stage direction. We had a Broadway director recommended to us. I ended up confronting him at the point where he wanted to have the 3 sopranos dressed and made up like truck stop lizards (female sex workers who look for clients at truck stops). Not sure how Mozart would have felt but to me these would not have been suitable victims for Don Juan. He backed off, mortally wounded, with one sentence. I simply told him we didn't trust him (innfront of everyone). Anyway, your story reminded me how painful these kinds of negotiations can be. I loved the whole lunch description. Our guy was addicted to diet cokes, a dozen or so a day.
That’s an interesting story. I imagine this happens a lot. Sometimes you go to something and the truck stop lizard director has had his way - I saw a dreadful production of Macbeth last year where similar bad things had occurred. These are people reaching for originality but by force, not inspiration. Your get out was brutal but necessary; I admire it.
Thank you for the mention, Ros! And exciting news about your novel :)
It's good to know about the moral rights clause. The first short story I ever wrote was bought by a film company and turned into a short film - luckily it wasn't all that bad. But probably cringeworthy enough that I won't go searching for it on youtube anytime soon.
Thanks! Yes, we should all know about it, shouldn’t we? Spread the word!
Re novel, yes, I am nervously excited about it. I’ve never believed in a thing more, but waiting for responses — and getting them — is something else. Time to hold the nerves and breathe deep.
I predict wonderful things for you! Hold your nerve 🧡
Thanks, Georgina. Will be holding it for the next few weeks, and hoping my grip is good :-)
all right - I'm going to save this one for later. but without reading would like to offer you congrats on a f&^$*@g funny title.
Thanks, Mike! I tried about 50 before I got to this one, so it’s good to know the effort was worth it :-)
Oh wow, what a story! I’m so glad you got out of that horrible mangling of what sounds like an amazing story. I’m sorry you had to go through such an ordeal though.
And thank you for spreading the word about the ‘moral rights.’
Thanks, Serena. For years I was a bit afraid to tell the story publicly in case it was poking the bear, but I think enough time has passed. And it’s really something authors should know about, so they can avoid going through anything similar.
The chutzpah of that turd to try to turn your masterpiece into profane nonsense. Glad you got out of it w/ a little chump change and no serious damage. Keep plugging, Ros. New successes await.
Thanks, Billy. I know, the disrespect! I’m always surprised when people make an enemy of me but it happens a lot around the SAQ. Feelings run high.
My other takeaway from this piece is to never trust a cheapskate who doesn’t consider you worth a £15 sandwich.
Having said that, I once took a date to see David Sedaris and bought her a £1.50 cheese and celery number from M&S for dinner. It’s all about the context.
I mean £15 *is* too much for a 2016 sandwich but you’re paying for your surroundings and if you want to play the big shot producer you probably want to go, if not the whole hog, a couple of decent rashers in some classy bread just to keep up appearances.
Nothing wrong with your affordable M&S date; sounds perfect, if the company’s right.
What the actual hell were they trying to do to your book? Eurghhh. I didn't know that about moral rights - I'd seen it in copyright declarations, but not known what it really meant. And now I do, so thank you!
And yes, I was nearly sued. I will be vague. I used to run an online clothing shop and I tried different suppliers to see how it went working with them, and to see how my customers took to their products. The first batch of items from The Seller was okay, so I ordered some more items, which had problems. Such as... The sleeves were on the wrong sizes. A big sleeve on a small dress with a tiny sleeve, a tiny sleeve on a big dress with the right-sized sleeve. And dresses with zips that got stuck. And a box of clothing that actually didn't have issues but never turned up.
I told them there was am issue and I was told that they "run their business in a Christlike way." What?
I posted about it in my personal, private Facebook, and cracked a joke with a friend who's a Quaker: "what's Christlike about their business? I missed the bit in the Bible about Jesus making tables with wonky legs." Unfortunately they were tagged in this post by accident and they went mental at me - via a lawyer. Theu refused to speak to me. I was the victim in this. I'd paid money for clothes that I couldn't sell, and they wouldn't take responsibility for, and now because I had "mocked their faith" (my Methodist pastor grandad would've loved the table joke, so there), they wouldn't sort things out. I couldn't afford a lawyer. I was trapped.
Then I made the mistake... Of creating an email address for my lawyer. She decided the lawyer was fake (those emails were written in perfect legalese! I am insulted!) and posted very publicly online that I was a terrible person to deal with. That I'd lied (I hadn't) and that I was offensive to Christians (comparing yourself to Christ when you sell tat and won't take responsibility for it is... Offensive to Christians). The comments were full of people, who knew nothing about the circumstances, saying horrendous things about me, and far too many of them trotted out that tedious, lazy response, "karma's a b*tch."
So seeing as I was being publicly slated, I wrote my own public post. I went into everything that had happened. And there were a lot of supportive comments. And among them were people saying, "I ordered stock from her too, and there were problems with it, and she wouldn't resolve them either, and got really arsey with me."
And I let that post stay online for as long as I ran my shop. Her lawyer never contacted me to take it down. Hmmm.... I wonder how many fake lawyers were involved in that? Or, if her lawyer was real, did they recommend that she took no action, because of the number of other people she'd ripped off?
I have no idea if this helps at all. But perhaps knowing that you might not be the only person who's been crapped on by someone can be a comfort. It's not about you, but about them and their inability to deal with other people's views without reaching for a lawyer like a child tabtrumming in a supermarket for a Freddo Frog.
What were they doing? I know, amazing isn’t it. I had no idea people would do that kind of thing.
Your own legal story is rich indeed. I *love* your Facebook joke, both appropriate and deserved. People are such twits, piling in on an issue they don’t know so little about. Social media is bad for the brain (and our opinion of humanity). I’m glad you got justice (without additional cost) in the end.
I am BAD for born again and delivered and I don't find your joke offensive. I believe Jesus did excellent work Indeed. I am also tired of christians using Christ's name in vain ( if indeed they are christians). Being able to recognize your faults is a basic virtue of Christ's disciples.
Spot on, Ka B. If you’re going to call yourself a Christian, surely following Christ’s teachings is a fundamental? But some people lack self-awareness. My ex sister in law was a really committed Christian on the face of it and did the church flowers but I found her behaviour towards me as unchristian as could be. But then we all do this at times; fail to practice what we preach. Human flaws are legion!
I would not worry - they paid you.
I was worried at the time (not now) because I care deeply about the way my work is represented. Getting paid really isn’t everything. No-one should be deceived into Faustian pact; it should be freely entered.
Well it does seem as if there will always be a fair few frogs to be kissed…what more can I tell you?! Your piece certainly describes the ‘milieu’ pretty well.
Small time professional author here. You are jolly lucky the contract didn't have a clause where you waived your moral rights. Not uncommon and in UK quite legal. I don't have an agent, too small time, but all my contracts get pre vetted by the Society of Authors. They would also be some help with whoever is currently sueing you. Which must be horrible, deep sympathies there.
The SoA are great for contract vetting; I always pass my contracts past them. But they don’t provide defamation lawyers. What an absolute bargain their membership fee would be if they did!
You have my total sympathy for what they put you through, but most film contracts insist you waive your moral rights. Which reinforces my view that if you think dealing with publishers is difficult and dispiriting, wait till you have to negotiate with people in the film business!
Well, I look forward to doing so; and I shall have to see how I feel about selling my moral rights. If I trust them, maybe not a problem. If I don’t trust them, I will find out what price I set on my soul. I’d like to think I wouldn’t sell it, but big money can be a dreadful temptation.
For me being required to waive moral rights is a reason to distrust. Unless supplying material that is intended to be manipulated and adapted by the publisher. Incidentally moral rights (the right of integrity and the right to be credited) don't apply to magazine ("serial") publications.
I've only been on the performing side of these sorts of shenanigans, but I can attest it's also painful for the poor artists who were just happy to have a job to discover that they're working with Dick Swinger and Will Ingstooge. We identify with the source material (it's the theatre -- the word, the AUTHOR'S INTENT, above all else!) and begrudgingly execute the terrible direction and dialogue to the best of our abilities, apologizing to friends who insist on attending the show anyway. Those gems tucked away on YouTube become inside jokes shared with those who survived said shenanigans.
I hope you bought yourself a really lovely lunch with those options dolla-dolla-dollars. :)
Oh yep, Gia, I had a lunch or two out of that cash! I feel for any creative person who has to work on projects like this. It was why I felt bad about pulling the plug too; it’s still a job, and jobs in the creative industries are precious. I have a few actor friends, and went to one of those shows early last year (which she apologised for, but the main pleasure was seeing her being the only brilliant thing in a pile of doo-doo, and then drinking with her and a couple of other really lovely actors in the bar until closing time).
The real show begins at the bar! And yes, we're grateful for work, even the stinky poop pile that we're sometimes serving up. But ultimately, no one expect Dick (and whoever financed it all) was disappointed that the Oxfordian Operatic Marlowe never saw the light of day. Cheers!
"The Marlowe Papers" turned my heart around at a time when it was in a very sad place. So delightful and deliciously clever. I am shocked to learn that your dazzling novel was treated this way. That you were treated this way. It is such a wonderful story that I don't know why on earth you haven't been offered a great of money for the rights to a sumptuous Netflix series yet. It's coming. TMPs is really in tune with the current trend for historical dramas told with flair and intelligence. And also, I think, the growing interest in the Authorship Question. And, also because your Kit is just so lovable.
Kim, what a lovely thing to hear. This is what I write for, honestly. The idea that my words could turn someone’s heart around when they are in a sad place is incredible.
Ah, I’m sure the sumptuous Netflix series exists somewhere down the line; I just have to break through with a best-seller and there will be people scrambling for the back catalogue! My follow-up to the The Marlowe Papers (in that it’s historical, and first person) is just about to go on submission, so send all the good vibes!
Oh yes, he is so lovable. I still spend a lot of time with him, in my head!
I am a reformed beat-myself-upper, who falls back into old habits on occasion, but neither do I necessarily forgive myself for my failings. I do generally learn from them, though.
I absolutely love historical accuracy in everything and am even more curious to read "The Marlowe Papers" now. I have just picked up "30-second Shakespeare" and "Devotion" from the library and off now to get the jobs done, so I can get to reading.
Well, reformation from being a beat-yourself-upper can be a long road (speaking as one who knows) but gradually I found I catch myself in the act faster and faster, and drop it. I only call myself ‘idiot’ two or three times a month now and it used to be several times a day!
Oh terrific; I hope you enjoy them. “Devotion” is, I’ve been told, a bit of a Marmite book; people very much love it or hate it, and I think it’s about whether or not it marries with whether they like a flawed protagonist or not. Me, I *am* a flawed protagonist, so I have a terrible soft spot for logan; my editor did too. But my agent hated him, and I once made the mistake of searching for myself on Twitter just after the book’s release and found two people talking about the book and one saying it made them so angry they threw it across the room! I’ll be interested to know which camp you fall into!
Ha ha! You're so unreasonable!
Yes I once got a libel summons from a men's hair restoration clinic because, in a London Evening Standard article making fun of their archaic business model, I said that their guaranteed "cure" didn't work. The letter frightened the life out of me but the Standard, when I reported it to them, was not phased at all. I went in to meet the Standard's highly paid and terrifyingly predatory female lawyer. I explained that the clinic's restoration method didn't work because at the time (I'd done my research) no method was scientifically proven to work. She smiled, rubbed her hands together and said, chillingly: "We'll put them out of business." Which (only briefly) actually made me feel sorry for them.
It’s not unreasonable to want to be treated with respect. I’m sorry if you think it is. That’s one scary-sounding lawyer.
That's my irony setting off the weapon detector.
Ah! Damn, I hate missing irony almost as much as I hate ironing.
I can't believe that guy! Shocking how he would deliberately tear apart and distort your work into something vile and despicable. I'm very glad you averted disaster. Is there any clause in a contract for film rights that says if they will be true to the work? I don't like the way directors take a great book and try to change it and feel they should declare their intention of staying true to the work or not. The original is almost always better. I'm interested in reading the Marlowe Papers now.
That's good news :-)
I know! Apparently with film options they often ask you to waive your moral rights (meaning they can do anything with it they like). So I guess the answer is to hold onto your principles and not sell a film option on that basis. I can imagine it would be tempting if they wave big money at you and you're broke, though (which so many writers are).
There are so many shocking adaptations but I think the worst I've seen was "Under the Skin". Michel Faber's book is an absolute masterpiece. The film was unrecognisable.
The best films are where those making the film have respect for the author and work *with* them to bring a joint vision to the screen.