This is great. Thank you for it. The idea of having one day a year to stop and give thanks for/appreciate half the population just says everything about female representation in our society doesn't it?!
I am a Woman…I am a Mother who has housed The Future in her body … I am a thinker, a writer, an Imaginative Woman, a creator, a Witness to many as they find their way through their own stories, a sister, a fun loving deep laughing Being, I played with dolls because they became my friends in a sometimes difficult world and I am a Woman Warrior who is learning to wreath her wounds in gentleness and learning too to not keep elbows stuck out and I am soft and hard. I tend my broken places with more wisdom as I age. I am a Warrior. X
Why am I crying …again? The boys I played with as a child would say “Because you’re just a girl”. It was the word ‘just’ that hit me then but not anymore. I am JUST …I will take that!
I read it! And I get it. How that unaddressed anger built up to a system shut down; paralysis. So hard to function well, when carrying still-unresolved trauma. I found therapy only helpful in the discovery phase. For actual healing / the energetic resolution that would prevent such shut down in the future, may I recommend my go-to for the last 18 years, EFT? You don’t need a therapist; it’s self-applied, one layer of pain at a time. It’s scientifically validated: https://eftuniverse.com/research-studies/ You can get free resources to learn EFT at the same site.
Absolutely friggin spot on! Honestly, minus the weird throwing arm which seems to be improving with evolution, the stuff we women do is nothing short of miraculous. Thank you for the clear articulation and great writing!
It was one of my first posts on Substack. I thought it was worth boosting it on Notes this year, now I have a bit more of an audience! Thanks for your comment!
I agree it was totally worthy boosting this again not only is it brilliantly written and honest, but much needed and yes as you have a well deserved higher amount of people who have subscribed to you and clearly enjoying! Congratulations!
I hated being a girl and I hate being a woman. I can’t whistle or throw balls or run. I can’t catch a ball or bake cakes. I wasn’t able to have children and I ski like a Labrador would. I’m always overweight and made to feel so and I drink too much. And now, I’m fucking old as well. If you think women have it hard, try being a pensioner. You may as well not exist.
But, you know, there are lots of things I can do and did do. I raced motorbikes in amateur races nearly 50 years ago, I became a kick-boxer (turns out, those wonky girls’ arms can deliver a hefty punch), I tell a great tall story, mix a fine cocktail, open a bottle of champagne without male help….and I can write!
I love all those things you can do and have done, Helen. And I know the extra diminishments (or attempted diminishments) of older age aren’t far away. Love the ‘ski like a Labrador’, though — that sounds like a skill!
Ros, I hear you. The weight of it all, the absurdity, the rage that starts early and never really stops. The ways we are shaped before we even know we have form. The ways we push back—sometimes with words, sometimes with fire.
I get why you want IWD to "do one." These reminders, these annual pat-on-the-back moments, they don’t erase the daily grind of being seen as less, of having to prove what should be obvious. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stood in spaces that weren’t made for me, knowing I had to carve out my own damn corner.
And still, here we are. Writing it down. Naming it. Refusing to disappear.
For us men who write about female characters, your piece is invaluable, reminding us of the myriad frustrations girls and women endure. I feel I have valuable input to sprinkle in my stories to make my characters more relatable and real. Where I grew up, the boys and girls played touch football together, with both on both teams. Some of the girls had great arms.
Thanks, Bill. I’ve since read a fascinating article about girls and throwing - that we have our confidence robbed from us early on this score, which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I’m glad the piece is helpful to you.
I was lucky enough to have parents even in the 70’s and 80’s who bought both car sets and dolls, building sets and art supplies, but puberty was hard and I think it took me two decades to get used to the body changes. Despite never thinking I’d want to be a mom, I adore the kids I bore and the ones I was gifted. Still, menopause is SUCH a relief. It’s like you cross a finish line after a way-too-long marathon and finally you’re DONE. Thanks for the article. Nice to feel like you can be ambivalent without being ungrateful.
Enjoying this. Straightforward good sense, but after all this time still seen at best as a novelty and often as something to be dismissed. Love the way you tell it!
I'd be curious to know your thoughts about the women in my novel series. Let me know if you would like a free copy of THE OLD CRANBERRY LADIES GARDEN CLUB: THE GHOST AND THE KEY.
This is great. Thank you for it. The idea of having one day a year to stop and give thanks for/appreciate half the population just says everything about female representation in our society doesn't it?!
Haha, doesn't it! Thanks for reading, Natalie.
I am a Woman…I am a Mother who has housed The Future in her body … I am a thinker, a writer, an Imaginative Woman, a creator, a Witness to many as they find their way through their own stories, a sister, a fun loving deep laughing Being, I played with dolls because they became my friends in a sometimes difficult world and I am a Woman Warrior who is learning to wreath her wounds in gentleness and learning too to not keep elbows stuck out and I am soft and hard. I tend my broken places with more wisdom as I age. I am a Warrior. X
Why am I crying …again? The boys I played with as a child would say “Because you’re just a girl”. It was the word ‘just’ that hit me then but not anymore. I am JUST …I will take that!
So belittling, that word ‘just’, until you reclaim it and make it JUST.
Love this, Win. I salute you, warrior woman. X
Oof. I feel this one. I wrote a thing about women's Day that is, in a roundabout way, the same as this thing you've written. United in anger. https://open.substack.com/pub/honestlywritten/p/international-womens-day-2025?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=38s6n0
I read it! And I get it. How that unaddressed anger built up to a system shut down; paralysis. So hard to function well, when carrying still-unresolved trauma. I found therapy only helpful in the discovery phase. For actual healing / the energetic resolution that would prevent such shut down in the future, may I recommend my go-to for the last 18 years, EFT? You don’t need a therapist; it’s self-applied, one layer of pain at a time. It’s scientifically validated: https://eftuniverse.com/research-studies/ You can get free resources to learn EFT at the same site.
Absolutely friggin spot on! Honestly, minus the weird throwing arm which seems to be improving with evolution, the stuff we women do is nothing short of miraculous. Thank you for the clear articulation and great writing!
Thanks so much, Genessa! I’ve since read something very interesting on how the throwing arm issue occurs, but have lost the link to the article.
I remember reading this from you on another platform. Good to read it again. Love and solidarity.
It was one of my first posts on Substack. I thought it was worth boosting it on Notes this year, now I have a bit more of an audience! Thanks for your comment!
I agree it was totally worthy boosting this again not only is it brilliantly written and honest, but much needed and yes as you have a well deserved higher amount of people who have subscribed to you and clearly enjoying! Congratulations!
Loved reading the piece, so excellently well said. I loved “women are not support animals! “ restack incoming x
Thanks, Fern x
I hated being a girl and I hate being a woman. I can’t whistle or throw balls or run. I can’t catch a ball or bake cakes. I wasn’t able to have children and I ski like a Labrador would. I’m always overweight and made to feel so and I drink too much. And now, I’m fucking old as well. If you think women have it hard, try being a pensioner. You may as well not exist.
But, you know, there are lots of things I can do and did do. I raced motorbikes in amateur races nearly 50 years ago, I became a kick-boxer (turns out, those wonky girls’ arms can deliver a hefty punch), I tell a great tall story, mix a fine cocktail, open a bottle of champagne without male help….and I can write!
I love all those things you can do and have done, Helen. And I know the extra diminishments (or attempted diminishments) of older age aren’t far away. Love the ‘ski like a Labrador’, though — that sounds like a skill!
Ros, I hear you. The weight of it all, the absurdity, the rage that starts early and never really stops. The ways we are shaped before we even know we have form. The ways we push back—sometimes with words, sometimes with fire.
I get why you want IWD to "do one." These reminders, these annual pat-on-the-back moments, they don’t erase the daily grind of being seen as less, of having to prove what should be obvious. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stood in spaces that weren’t made for me, knowing I had to carve out my own damn corner.
And still, here we are. Writing it down. Naming it. Refusing to disappear.
Yup, Jay. We will keep showing the world how wrong it is to belittle us.
Yes, we will, Ros.
For us men who write about female characters, your piece is invaluable, reminding us of the myriad frustrations girls and women endure. I feel I have valuable input to sprinkle in my stories to make my characters more relatable and real. Where I grew up, the boys and girls played touch football together, with both on both teams. Some of the girls had great arms.
Thanks, Bill. I’ve since read a fascinating article about girls and throwing - that we have our confidence robbed from us early on this score, which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I’m glad the piece is helpful to you.
The piece is perfecto (chef's kiss).
Thanks, Denise!
I was lucky enough to have parents even in the 70’s and 80’s who bought both car sets and dolls, building sets and art supplies, but puberty was hard and I think it took me two decades to get used to the body changes. Despite never thinking I’d want to be a mom, I adore the kids I bore and the ones I was gifted. Still, menopause is SUCH a relief. It’s like you cross a finish line after a way-too-long marathon and finally you’re DONE. Thanks for the article. Nice to feel like you can be ambivalent without being ungrateful.
Thanks, Laurel. Oh yes, puberty was *tough*!
Such a great read, Ros.
Thank you, Fliss! I have only just seen your comment; I'm going to have to check my Substack notification settings. Still a newbie here...
Enjoying this. Straightforward good sense, but after all this time still seen at best as a novelty and often as something to be dismissed. Love the way you tell it!
Thank you Jonathan! I enjoyed having a bit of a rant and it just came out in a wild rush, rather cathartic :-)
I'd be curious to know your thoughts about the women in my novel series. Let me know if you would like a free copy of THE OLD CRANBERRY LADIES GARDEN CLUB: THE GHOST AND THE KEY.
I can’t see myself having time to read it at the moment, Bill.