Ros, dammit to hell, I'm so sorry that this happened. I know the feeling. It hurts. No advice, just sympathy. In the Texas of my youth, the battle cry when faced with adversity was, 'Go git 'em.' Go git, 'em, Ros. You are already the writer that so very many people aspire to be.
Brava Ros. Been thinking about radical courage so much lately, and you inspire me. Also- always make me laugh, at least once, with your wit that’s never shallow but laughs on the dark side. Take that, fate!
Golden handcuffs are how it was explained to me when I was hired by Ford to work in the insane asylum called an assembly plant. Now I run my own taekwondo school and have many hours to write with no need to make a dime from it. And, yes, it’s hard to write when you’re selling pencils from a tin cup on skid row, but you will never have to do that. You will soar among the clouds and look down upon the mental midgets who have released you with both contempt and thanks.
I lost my job due to my health aged 40, 24 years ago. It seemed like the end of things. A few months after my contract ended I started writing, something I used to do as a child and teen. It's got me through a huge amount of stuff, has earned me a small number of prizes and quite a few publications. Most of all, it's my identity; I am a writer. There was grief, poverty (not exaggerating - I was a single parent of two teenage daughters, and the benefits system is not generous), but I can honestly say my life is better than before, when I was working and had good health. I went back to university to do a part-time MA, getting some funding from charities, then set up an indie press with my second husband. Things I would never have done if I had stayed in work.
Good luck with however things work out for you, Ros.
Thanks, Maria. That’s exactly the kind of story I am looking for. I just wish we had universal basic income so that no-one in that position had to experience the grind of poverty. I’m so glad you’ve built yourself a better life.
Good luck Ros, and may the wonderful energy here help as well! And it's not only the superb, sensual musical energy - especially from the 3rd Movement - but the video is very cool, too, the orchestra is so damn "locked in" to what they're doing, as is the conductor.
Johannes Brahms - Symphony No. 3 in F major (Full)
Hochschule für Musik FRANZ LISZT Weimar
140K subscribers 404,532 views May 26, 2012
The Orchestra of the University of Music FRANZ LISZT Weimar plays Johannes Brahms' Symphony No. 3 in F major in the Neue Weimarhalle on May 10th.
Movement 1: Allegro Con Brio (F Major) | Movement 2: Andante (C Major) 13:11| Movement 3: Poco allegretto (C Minor) 22:00 | Movement 4: Allegro (F Minor/F Major) 28:45
Conductor: Professor Nicolás Pasquet
As far as some topic you might write about, tomorrow is my birthday, so it's Bastille Day [Sacre bleu!]
and for some reason it's also "National Naked Day" in the USA for the naturists -if any of that spurs a column it would be interesting to read your views!
LOL, in a connected train of thought to some extent, I shelled out $109 for a ONE YEAR sub to The Criterion Channel. 3016 films currently online. This mainly to remedy some glaring omissions in my own viewing of "foreign films" ["Nothing human is alien to me"] and to have an accessible worthwhile escape from the sheer lunacy and quasi-fascist threats here in the USA.
OK, so The Colours Trilogy is on there and on My Watch List. Yesterday I watched Young and Innocent (1937) directed by Alfred Hitchcock, starring Nova Pilbeam, very good as one would expect, right? I wanted some background on the Colours Trilogy and
was led to the Wiki article and in that, "Marianne," as a symbol of France - and realized as I read about it, even the depiction of Marianne bare-breasted or not, was a freakin' political-cultural issue, a battle royale even, over many decades!
There has to be a good balance, maybe arrived case-by-case, and flexibly enforced, between extreme psycho-sexual cultural repression of nudity / nakedness and whatever, and some totally wild and free situation we have not yet evolved to deal with, correct? Yet there is NO "bright line test," once you get beyond barring (and presumably protecting) minors, and all must be consensual (at least overtly, anyway) whether it is nudity in films, or in naturist reserves, nude beaches, etc. etc.
^^^^^ This is mostly political, but the controversies over a partially nude or completely clothed aspect recurs repeatedly, along with a kind of propaganda war involving "slut-shaming" of poor Marianne, who just wants to rep Liberty and Equality, damn it!
You’ve inspired me to write a brave, honest, and upfront letter to “dead dad.” Those two words, to me, encapsulate my lesson from your piece. He was a lovely man, but he is still keeping me at bay. I think he would have been a writer, if it weren’t for his own dad. Thank you for the inspiration!
With your optimism and sense of humor, you will be fine. I got a kick out of your hack! Early in my sales career, I quit a job on an impulse when the owner of the newspaper said he'd dock the salespeople a day's pay for each day we failed to bring in an order with ad copy. This was a weekly newspaper. Advertisers rarely provided copy before the weekly deadline. I refused to work all week for one or two days' pay. I was scheduled to close on a house purchase in two weeks. My pregnant wife only worked ten hours a week. I quit on a Friday and went to a job interview on the following Monday. That interviewer not only hired me, he gave me the secret to success in the sales profession. I worked on straight commission and earned double what I was being paid at the newspaper. That change launched my sales career, which lasted forty-six years.
Wow, what a courageous move. That took real balls. I’m a great believer in following gut instinct and going with what feels right. And also accepting ever ‘disaster’ as a blessing in disguise. It’s invariably true, so long as we grab it as an opportunity and don’t wallow in it.
In 1998 I did not get a job I coveted, so decided to start my own business instead - 26 years later it has provided a great living for my family and I with flexibility and delight built in! In a mid pandemic panic attack over an extreme loss of income I got so stressed that all my angst manifested as a thyroid disorder and a persistent low funk over the next few years - culminating in my big decision to pause and rest and find myself - L'il Bean turned up to keep me company and start my whole adventure on Substack. Follow your heart gut and soar Ros! The thing I love most about your writing is your self deprecating humour which packs such a punch when we get glimpses of just what an incredibly strong woman you are. xo
Thank you, Gillian. Resilience is built out of surviving countless setbacks, isn't it. I loved that you made such a success from going independently forward after a disappointment, and that you're now having another 'bounceback' moment with the brilliant L'il Bean, shining a light that others can follow. xx
Thanks Ros, I was thinking about you and I don’t think I did a super job of communicating what I like about your writing and what I would like to hear from you in the future, so I will give it another go: Your voice is a beautifully unique blend of humour, vulnerability and steel. That world perspective permeates what you write and inspires me to find my own steel while being open to others in a real way that is rare in our ego-dominated world. I’d love to hear your thoughts on all the ways we can write a better world - what does that look like from your perspective? All the large and small ways we can build something better together. Wishing you a beautiful day!
I wrote my first novel immediately after being laid off from a job that was physically and psychically killing me. Although I had other life lessons to accumulate before that novel was ready for the world, the experience, the excitement, and the commitment were a turning point in my life. You are so smart to embrace this gift of an opportunity to further your OWN definition of yourself! You got this! ✨✨✨
Haha, yes, can’t be having any of that ‘safe’ behaviour! And thank you for the condolences. As we were caring for him, his death combined with redundancy is essentially a double dose of pain combined with a whoosh of freedom.
Brilliant, Ros. I’m so so tempted to say “when one door closes, . . .“ but — AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH — I will refrain! Must. Not. Cliche. 🫠 Looking forward to whatever you write next.
Hahaha but Julie, I preempted that in the piece to remove all temptation! How did you still feel its tug? I know, I know, the pull of familiar words is so hard to resist… so well done only going halfway. And thank you, so am I!
Perhaps only getting one course to teach this fall is a blessing! I may just write more! I love this, Ros. You have a really funny, witty style of writing. I always wanted to write fiction or creative non-fiction. Perhaps I will pull out my earlier efforts and start again. In between all the other things I’m doing - like a PhD (yes, at the tender age of 65) and oh yeah, chemo treatments. Considering the latter, I should start now! LOL
What an amazing piece. I've only just found you here but I just wanted to say I was blown away by your energy and your humour. It's easy to dwell on the negatives and I'm sure you've had some low moments but your writing is absolutely spot on and I'm sure you will go from strength to strength. Cheering you on!
Ros, dammit to hell, I'm so sorry that this happened. I know the feeling. It hurts. No advice, just sympathy. In the Texas of my youth, the battle cry when faced with adversity was, 'Go git 'em.' Go git, 'em, Ros. You are already the writer that so very many people aspire to be.
Thank you, Elizabeth. For the sympathy and the strength and the last sentence…. That’s an amazing thing to hear.
Brava Ros. Been thinking about radical courage so much lately, and you inspire me. Also- always make me laugh, at least once, with your wit that’s never shallow but laughs on the dark side. Take that, fate!
Thank you, Christine. This was such a beautiful comment to receive.
Golden handcuffs are how it was explained to me when I was hired by Ford to work in the insane asylum called an assembly plant. Now I run my own taekwondo school and have many hours to write with no need to make a dime from it. And, yes, it’s hard to write when you’re selling pencils from a tin cup on skid row, but you will never have to do that. You will soar among the clouds and look down upon the mental midgets who have released you with both contempt and thanks.
Bless you, Ken!
I lost my job due to my health aged 40, 24 years ago. It seemed like the end of things. A few months after my contract ended I started writing, something I used to do as a child and teen. It's got me through a huge amount of stuff, has earned me a small number of prizes and quite a few publications. Most of all, it's my identity; I am a writer. There was grief, poverty (not exaggerating - I was a single parent of two teenage daughters, and the benefits system is not generous), but I can honestly say my life is better than before, when I was working and had good health. I went back to university to do a part-time MA, getting some funding from charities, then set up an indie press with my second husband. Things I would never have done if I had stayed in work.
Good luck with however things work out for you, Ros.
Thanks, Maria. That’s exactly the kind of story I am looking for. I just wish we had universal basic income so that no-one in that position had to experience the grind of poverty. I’m so glad you’ve built yourself a better life.
Good luck Ros, and may the wonderful energy here help as well! And it's not only the superb, sensual musical energy - especially from the 3rd Movement - but the video is very cool, too, the orchestra is so damn "locked in" to what they're doing, as is the conductor.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PyAkTW5HDU
38:51
Johannes Brahms - Symphony No. 3 in F major (Full)
Hochschule für Musik FRANZ LISZT Weimar
140K subscribers 404,532 views May 26, 2012
The Orchestra of the University of Music FRANZ LISZT Weimar plays Johannes Brahms' Symphony No. 3 in F major in the Neue Weimarhalle on May 10th.
Movement 1: Allegro Con Brio (F Major) | Movement 2: Andante (C Major) 13:11| Movement 3: Poco allegretto (C Minor) 22:00 | Movement 4: Allegro (F Minor/F Major) 28:45
Conductor: Professor Nicolás Pasquet
As far as some topic you might write about, tomorrow is my birthday, so it's Bastille Day [Sacre bleu!]
and for some reason it's also "National Naked Day" in the USA for the naturists -if any of that spurs a column it would be interesting to read your views!
Thanks Richard for the thoughts, the music and the ideas. I’m taking the nakedness! It was already on my list but I will bump it up the line.
LOL, in a connected train of thought to some extent, I shelled out $109 for a ONE YEAR sub to The Criterion Channel. 3016 films currently online. This mainly to remedy some glaring omissions in my own viewing of "foreign films" ["Nothing human is alien to me"] and to have an accessible worthwhile escape from the sheer lunacy and quasi-fascist threats here in the USA.
OK, so The Colours Trilogy is on there and on My Watch List. Yesterday I watched Young and Innocent (1937) directed by Alfred Hitchcock, starring Nova Pilbeam, very good as one would expect, right? I wanted some background on the Colours Trilogy and
was led to the Wiki article and in that, "Marianne," as a symbol of France - and realized as I read about it, even the depiction of Marianne bare-breasted or not, was a freakin' political-cultural issue, a battle royale even, over many decades!
There has to be a good balance, maybe arrived case-by-case, and flexibly enforced, between extreme psycho-sexual cultural repression of nudity / nakedness and whatever, and some totally wild and free situation we have not yet evolved to deal with, correct? Yet there is NO "bright line test," once you get beyond barring (and presumably protecting) minors, and all must be consensual (at least overtly, anyway) whether it is nudity in films, or in naturist reserves, nude beaches, etc. etc.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marianne
^^^^^ This is mostly political, but the controversies over a partially nude or completely clothed aspect recurs repeatedly, along with a kind of propaganda war involving "slut-shaming" of poor Marianne, who just wants to rep Liberty and Equality, damn it!
You’ve inspired me to write a brave, honest, and upfront letter to “dead dad.” Those two words, to me, encapsulate my lesson from your piece. He was a lovely man, but he is still keeping me at bay. I think he would have been a writer, if it weren’t for his own dad. Thank you for the inspiration!
That sounds both brilliant and necessary, Jill. If you publish it on Substack, please link to it here so I and other WBW readers can read it.
Intergenerational effects like what you describe are a thing, for sure.
With your optimism and sense of humor, you will be fine. I got a kick out of your hack! Early in my sales career, I quit a job on an impulse when the owner of the newspaper said he'd dock the salespeople a day's pay for each day we failed to bring in an order with ad copy. This was a weekly newspaper. Advertisers rarely provided copy before the weekly deadline. I refused to work all week for one or two days' pay. I was scheduled to close on a house purchase in two weeks. My pregnant wife only worked ten hours a week. I quit on a Friday and went to a job interview on the following Monday. That interviewer not only hired me, he gave me the secret to success in the sales profession. I worked on straight commission and earned double what I was being paid at the newspaper. That change launched my sales career, which lasted forty-six years.
Wow, what a courageous move. That took real balls. I’m a great believer in following gut instinct and going with what feels right. And also accepting ever ‘disaster’ as a blessing in disguise. It’s invariably true, so long as we grab it as an opportunity and don’t wallow in it.
Thanks, Ros. I was young and idealistic. Looking back, I realize that everything in my life has been a blessing if I was open to it.
In 1998 I did not get a job I coveted, so decided to start my own business instead - 26 years later it has provided a great living for my family and I with flexibility and delight built in! In a mid pandemic panic attack over an extreme loss of income I got so stressed that all my angst manifested as a thyroid disorder and a persistent low funk over the next few years - culminating in my big decision to pause and rest and find myself - L'il Bean turned up to keep me company and start my whole adventure on Substack. Follow your heart gut and soar Ros! The thing I love most about your writing is your self deprecating humour which packs such a punch when we get glimpses of just what an incredibly strong woman you are. xo
Thank you, Gillian. Resilience is built out of surviving countless setbacks, isn't it. I loved that you made such a success from going independently forward after a disappointment, and that you're now having another 'bounceback' moment with the brilliant L'il Bean, shining a light that others can follow. xx
Thanks Ros, I was thinking about you and I don’t think I did a super job of communicating what I like about your writing and what I would like to hear from you in the future, so I will give it another go: Your voice is a beautifully unique blend of humour, vulnerability and steel. That world perspective permeates what you write and inspires me to find my own steel while being open to others in a real way that is rare in our ego-dominated world. I’d love to hear your thoughts on all the ways we can write a better world - what does that look like from your perspective? All the large and small ways we can build something better together. Wishing you a beautiful day!
Well, it’s early days for me, but your account of your (first?) marriage grabbed me and made me lay my money down
There is more of that in the pipeline, too.
Any time you display your self-deprecating sense of humour, you are at your best, Dr. Barber, and I enjoy it thoroughly.
Thank you, Daniel.
I wrote my first novel immediately after being laid off from a job that was physically and psychically killing me. Although I had other life lessons to accumulate before that novel was ready for the world, the experience, the excitement, and the commitment were a turning point in my life. You are so smart to embrace this gift of an opportunity to further your OWN definition of yourself! You got this! ✨✨✨
I do appreciate your comment. We just have to walk into these moments with faith that the space has been cleared for us to build something better.
Congrats, Ros! I believe The Universe sometimes sees how attached we are to security blankets & decides to test them against an avalanche.
Turns out we fare better without those blankets, sometimes, than with them.
My condolences about your father-in-law.
Excited for your next chapter, er, um, yeah!
Haha, yes, can’t be having any of that ‘safe’ behaviour! And thank you for the condolences. As we were caring for him, his death combined with redundancy is essentially a double dose of pain combined with a whoosh of freedom.
Brilliant, Ros. I’m so so tempted to say “when one door closes, . . .“ but — AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH — I will refrain! Must. Not. Cliche. 🫠 Looking forward to whatever you write next.
Hahaha but Julie, I preempted that in the piece to remove all temptation! How did you still feel its tug? I know, I know, the pull of familiar words is so hard to resist… so well done only going halfway. And thank you, so am I!
Perhaps only getting one course to teach this fall is a blessing! I may just write more! I love this, Ros. You have a really funny, witty style of writing. I always wanted to write fiction or creative non-fiction. Perhaps I will pull out my earlier efforts and start again. In between all the other things I’m doing - like a PhD (yes, at the tender age of 65) and oh yeah, chemo treatments. Considering the latter, I should start now! LOL
There is truly *no* time like the present. GO for it, Kathie!
What an amazing piece. I've only just found you here but I just wanted to say I was blown away by your energy and your humour. It's easy to dwell on the negatives and I'm sure you've had some low moments but your writing is absolutely spot on and I'm sure you will go from strength to strength. Cheering you on!
Thank you, Louise!
Also, Zebedee is a good name for a dog.
Our daughter named him when she was a Magic Roundabout fan and it really suits him :-)